Unpreconcieving

It took me five days. You're wondering, is that long or short? Five days to cross Europe on pogo stick seems pretty fast. Five days to butter your toast, you need professional help. What did it take you five days to do, Erich?

It took me five days to have a shower epiphany. Okay, at this point you're thinking, whoa! I am not comfortable with where this is going! But no, don't worry. I promise this post is rated for general audiences.

We arrived in Vlorë on Saturday afternoon, and it is now Thursday morning and I just had my epiphany. Note: I didn't shower until Sunday morning, so I am counting this as five days.

The shower here has two knobs to control the water, one on the left and one on the right. I've seen similar showers before. That means the left knob controls the amount of hot water and the right knob controls the amount of cold water. And at first glance, that seems to be the case here. There is a red dot on the left knob which seems to confirm its hot water status. On the right knob there is a silver circle, so, like the CIA, that neither confirms nor denies its control of the cold water.

The weird thing though is if you just turn the left knob, the one with the red dot, nothing happens. No water flows at all. If you just turn the right knob with its silver dot, you get water. But that water never gets warm. But if you turn the right knob, get water, and then after this, you mess around with the left knob, eventually (without knowing how you did it) you have a warm shower.

This puzzled me for days. What was the point of having the left knob not do anything if you turned it first? Why did you have to have the cold water on first before you could even request hot water? Until this morning, while showering, when I had my aforementioned, G-rated, epiphany.

The two knobs are not hot and cold. The left knob, with the red dot, is entirely about temperature control and has nothing to do with the volume of water coming out of the shower. The right knob, which now it was clear why it didn't have a blue dot, is entirely about volume control and has nothing to do with what temperature that water will be. You can only get water when you turn the right knob because that's the only knob that controls how much water you get. The right knob is quantity, the left knob is quality.

I was so stuck in my former experiences that even with the evidence of previous Vlorë showers, I couldn't figure this simple idea out. To me, a knob on the left and a knob on the right means hot and cold. But I have to open my mind to other possibilities. And it isn't as though I've never seen controls which handle the volume separate from temperature. I've been in showers where the amount you pull the lever away from the wall determines the volume and the angle of the lever around a circle determines the temperature. It just wasn't ever arranged as a left knob and a right knob.

So look at me! I just had to learn to get out of my own way and suddenly I've mastered esoteric Albanian plumbing. (Except next is laundry and the washing machine is labeled in German. Oh joy!)

Side note: As long as we are discussing Albanian plumbing, look at how skinny their hydrants are!

Hey, no hydrant body shaming!