Historic, Hip, and Hilarious Hanoi

Hanoi is an amazing place. I really enjoy it here. One of the many things I enjoy is all the oddities, the strange sites or sounds or happenings that make up the city and my experience here. So in this post I want to have some light-hearted fun. Not heavy-handed, but light-hearted. Though, hands weighing less than hearts is surprising. But I guess you can have a heavy heart too. Perhaps hearts can change their density.

Edifices

The Tran Quoc Pagoda

Pagoda on an island in the lake

I visited the Tran Quoc Pagoda which is on a spur of land that extends into Tay Ho (West Lake). Here's what's amazing: Today, as I said, this Buddhist temple is on the West Lake. But when it was built between 541 and 543 CE, it was on the Red River. But no one moved the pagoda. The river moved. As I mentioned in a previous post, the West Lake is one of many lakes that are remnants of the former course of the Red River.

I kept hearing chimes but saw no percussionist. Eventually I figured out it was wind chimes.

The pagoda is very beautiful and has lots of people visiting it. It has many people just outside it ready to sell you offerings you can leave at the shrines. It has women who will lend you scarves for your shoulders because uncovered shoulders (and shorts) are not allowed. Though I'm not sure how tightly these rules are enforced.

Closer View of the Central Chedi

I was particularly amused by a series of panels that explained the Laws of Karma. Each illustration explained that if you behave in a particular way in your current life, this is what reward or punishment you can expect in your next life.

You know what they say: Karma's a... well, you know what they say.

Cool architecture

Clever architect

I have no idea what this building is, but I love the design.

Maybe the scene is supposed to represent the very street it is on

Here's another: I was walking through a section of town where the walls along the street had a series of engraved panels. I don't know why, what it was on the other side of the wall that called for them. But how cool that they were there?

Not all the panels are street scenes

Restaurants and Coffee Shops

The Waffle House

Coming from the United States, when I think of a restaurant called The Waffle House I have a pretty strong (and primarily unfavorable) mental picture. I suspect that isn't the vibe they were going for here in a touristy part of Hanoi.

Not that "The Waffle House"

Functionality vs the Vibe

Question for you: What do you do if you have a quirky, trendy coffee shop and outside your building is a weird big standpipe? You paint it to be just as quirky!

Fun character and a bonus hydrant picture! It's a win-win!

Not Exactly The Same

Western Foods

Some "western foods" as they are called are very much like you remember them. Pizza here is excellent. But many are close without quite hitting the mark. Tacos don't taste quite like tacos. Doner kebab is delicious, but not quite like it is served in Turkey or Greece or the Balkans. And even Italian pasta can be surprising. I ordered linguine with seafood and it was delicious. But I didn't expect the linguine to be dark green, so dark, at first I thought it was black.

It was a dark and stormy linguine

Being a culinary adventurer, with my pasta I ordered "salt lemon soda" as my drink. Not my best choice. I don't really get into salty beverages, and the lemon in this one gave it a flavor that I associate with dish soap. This is not to say I drink a lot of dish soap, but I found the closest non-harmful alternative if I wanted to.

All the flavor of dish soap, and a mouthful of salt. What a bargain!

Background Music

Most Vietnamese restaurants don't play music. But some of the Western ones or the higher end ones do. And what seems to be super popular here is covers of American rock songs. But the covers always seem to be a female vocalist who is making the most mellow version of the song possible. Did the original have a driving beat? No more! Were there electric guitars? No more! Was it a power ballad? No more! They don't seem to be aware of what a power ballad is. Just yesterday we heard a cover of Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys. Let me tell you, the lulling melody felt like it was singing "This girl is sitting in the vicinity of a heater." Or perhaps, "This girl is wearing a warm woolen sweater."

Surprising Sightings

Dragons

Not too far from where we are living, there is a business that is like a big play area. It's too small to say it is an amusement park. And it is too big to say it is just a playground. But they seem to have events. Sometimes, those events require dragons.

Is the dragon draggin'?

We happened to be passing when a group was unloading their paper dragon that is on poles that they can carry. So we got a good look at the beast.

We were face to face!

The One Armed, Well, Not Bandit

When I was finding my way to the Red River, I came into an event space. There was no event going on at the time. But I did find this guy there.

I am so unclear as to what you are meant to be.

So yeah, he's wearing a loincloth and he's one armed. But a one armed what? Not really a demon. He has pointed ears. Maybe a red elf? A sunburned Vulcan?

Trees with Accessories

You might think trees are trees, right? But no, not here. Apparently here, the trees are electric!

"I have the power!" - He-Man

Does that seem like a fire hazard? No worries. The next tree over is prepared.

The tree equivalent of a bullet-proof vest

Funny, Random Extras

Translation Error

It's strange to see clothing being sold with English on it in a place that doesn't speak English. But how did they translate this? Google Translate and hope it's right? But why the incomplete sentence? And someone didn't know the word "reins".

What do you think you are supposed to let chance do? Not hold the rains of your life, of course.

Top Tier Trash

Have you ever had a situation where a confluence of events occurs that changes something you were saying mid-sentence and it results in one of the greatest sentences ever spoken? Here's what happened.

Alrica and I had purchased beverages while out exploring Hanoi. Now we were carrying the cups and eager to rid ourselves of them. As we walked past a club, there was a sign that said it was one of the top one-hundred clubs in the world. But I hadn't noticed the sign. Also, there was a couple of garbage cans just around the corner from the club.

So we're walking and Alrica is telling me about the sign that I missed, but turns the corner as she is doing so. And thus, she utters the amazing sentence. "This is one of the world's top 100... garbage cans." Naturally, I was thrilled to toss my trash into one of the most highly rated garbage cans in the world. And I had to get a picture to commemorate it, much to Alrica's annoyance (or is that Hanoi-ance?)

Honestly, not sure what raises this garbage can over its peers, but I can only assume expert judges were employed in the determination.

My Life as a Seven-Year-Old Girl

I have this problem. Some of the letters on my computer keyboard are wearing away (or entirely worn away.) For the most part, that's not a problem, because I know how to type without having to look at the keys. But it can be annoying t times. Particularly impossible to read keys included the A, the C, the E, and the S. I think that's amazing since it happens to be the four initials of the first names of our family. But that may be coincidence, and besides the C, those other letters are among the most commonly used. Still, if I have to type the word "case" (and being a mathematician who does proofs by cases, this is not an infrequent occurrence) I better remember where those letters are.

We were at the store the other idea and Alrica spotted the perfect solution. It was a pack of colorful glittery stickers of the letters of the alphabet. Problem solved! This is what my keyboard looks like now.

I don't know why I doubled the B

Let's just hope the numbers don't go next.

You're Doing it Wrong

There are certain skills in life that you would like to think people just know how to do. But that's not always the case. (Look, I just used the word "case"!)

Here, let me address the women who are reading this. I do this as a service, because the women probably have less firsthand knowledge of one of the many unpleasant features of a public men's restroom. The men who read this will nod their heads, affirming its truth.

The floor just under a urinal is frequently, how can I sugarcoat this, uninviting. But here's the good news. I was recently in a restroom here in Vietnam that attempts to address the issue.

I think this one transcends language. We can all understand it.

So men, please, if you aren't already familiar with the proper technique, please, take a long look at the image above. Internalize it. This is sure to serve you well in the future.